Fossilizing your RV

Here is a really off-the-wall topic. This one came in from my neighbor while we were discussing his recent camping trip. Bill asked me: "Will my camper be preserved in a rock layer some day?"



Bill's honey. Maybe a fossil someday. Like Bill.

I know that ol' Bill really loves his little Scamper trailer. His wife loves it too, because now she can send him out there when he snores. Bill wondered if there was a way to ensure his trailer would be preserved in a rock layer for future generations to admire. I explained the essential geology to him, but figured some RV.com readers might be equally attached to their rigs and have a similar idea.

Essentially, you want to create a fossil. To do it right, you have to understand how rocks are made, and what kind of rock would be needed to preserve your RV. Bury the poor thing in fine grained sediment- sand or mud. Fill the interior right up to the ceiling so it isn't crushed as rock forms over the coming few million years. Of course, I'm sure you would first obtain all the necessary permits, licenses, and variances, and you certainly wouldn't want to violate any zoning codes, right? Wouldn't want your rig dug up after only a decade when they run a new sewer line through the area! You would want to entomb your prized RV in a place that was less subject to the crushing forces of plate tectonics, or uplift and metamorphism that could squeeze and twist your pride and joy into a twisted wreck. (Bill winced when I mentioned this. Too gruesome a scene for him, so he went into his Scamper for another bottle of wine.)

"Hey Dad! I think I found something!"

 The loose sediment will form rock only if it can escape erosion. It also has to be subjected to pressure, so pick a place where more sediment can be added on top, adding pressure and squeezing the layers beneath (including your RV) into rock over the eons. Probably the best place is on the sea floor, but it wouldn't look good to just shove your camper off a boat out in the ocean. A good place might be beside a slow moving river that periodically floods and deposits new mud. You also need a spot that isn't subject to erosion for a million years or so, such as at the toe of glacier or beside a river. (Ooops! There's a contradiction. This demonstrates the capriciousness of fossil preservation, and how the same conditions that are conducive to preservation can cause them to be eroded away and lost.

Once there are a couple thousand feet of overlying sediment covering your RV, the pressure will begin to squeeze the rock grains together to make rock. That will probably be a little hard on the intended fossil, but if you filled 'er up nice and tight with mud or maybe concrete, that will be minimized.

Now, you need someone to be able to find the fossil. You can either trust to geology and hope that a new-born river will eat away at the rocks in the future and providentially expose the 'fossil', or you can cheat and post the GPS location in some place that will last forever. Maybe someone will start an Internet website to post 'intentional fossil' locations. We all know that the Internet will still make sense in a few million years, right? Plus, because there is so much wisdom on the Internet,
surely someone will know what it looked like originally.

Good luck.